Lezflirt: The Etiquette of Poly Meetings?

I have have been single and dating multiple women at a time and I am currently single and not looking to U-Haul

so I am looking for friends and playmates and eventually.. dating and trying to connect to that special woman in my Quest of Tears.

So at this stage in life a lot of people are coupled or poly’d up

and so the question of considering other people’s situation and circumstances.

From my side, I have to consider how many people I have in my close circle.

Balancing what I have the energy and interest in vs my emotional self management.

the more secure that I feel, the more I am capable of

the more playful I feel, the more I long to …. I long to ….

then my mind blanks

I have been so out of touch with myself that I really don’t know what I want anymore

I have an image of the kind of life I want to lead, the kinds of things I would like to do.

Evenings out on the town, parties and smaller gatherings

but also, I only want to enhance what people have in their lives

not destabilize or cause anyone insecurity, anxiety or jealousy

From my range of actual and online friends, most people seem openly poly or practicing poly on the down low

and as long as everyone knows, that’s completely legit

There is nothing wrong with Mr or Ms Right Now

even if Now is defined as actually now, for now for a while or whatever becomes mutual

I am not so sure that monogamy exclusive over a life is natural or even desirable

I think it worked well when our average life span was 30 years but with it being pushed to the 80s and 90s… I think perhaps it’s unrealistic

Now a popular stat that gets tossed around is the Divorce rate being 50%

and there is a misleading folding of information in the state.

it’s not like if 100 couples got married that half would divorce

it’s more like

40% divorce with the other divorces being second divorces

and allowing for serial marriages…

 

I am not sure about the exact actual stats, but the assessment of the breakdown is correct in any event.

Social attitudes about sex are cultural and largely dependent on the level of control that religion has over the culture and the amount of social awareness and concern over diseases.

 

the essence of religion is purity and that means fear of contamination – giving rise to anti-sex attitudes because close contact is how diseases are spread from the exchange of sex fluids to just being coughed on.

 

Interestingly, the average westerner and the average african have the same number of partners over their live spans, but the difference is mostly in how many at the same time.

 

Safe sex practices – not only safe,sane and consensual – but safe sex devices and disease prevention practices.

that means getting to know the other people in the circle.

 

For me I struggle to find the balance between reasonable precautions for any one, but also managing my social disordered state.

 

But it’s wanting to socialize that is starting to restore my social butterfly tenancies.

 

One of the topics I have been developing for discussion is the clarity and the safety build into the language of the SMBD community – where people are highly adept at understanding the concepts of boundaries and limits. Safewords and controlled releases of emotions.

 

connecting mind and body in the now of sensation

 

has a way of making one concentrate with clarity and purity

 

 

so

 

like the old school actual educating people about sex instead of trying to instill shame or make it taboo and thus more appealing

 

 

When you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have and are having sex with.

 

So.

 

It behooves you to know who they are

 

and

 

you never know

 

where you find your boundaries expand

with your comfort to discomfort zone

 

everyone has the potential to teach you something about yourself