Dear Lezflirt

http://ntrygg.wordpress.com/2010/05/07/which-rule-is-it/

How we think of others is the essence of flirting.

people who are only going for a yes are not valuing you as a person.

people who value you as a person are ones you feel comfortable saying yes to

so it all comes down to how we treat ourselves and others

When I first put my Lezflirt workshop online back in the Web 1.0 Days, I didn’t expect to get emails asking me for advice.

One of the exchanges that stands out the most for me was a woman who was having an affair with a man she worked with.

She was upset that his wife came to the office with a baby in her arms and 2 small kids in tow and created a scene.

I told her.

pay attention to the wife, because that’s you in five years.

visit: http://lezflirt.wordpress.com/dear%C2%A0lezflirt/

 

And

after a series of emails with the woman, she finally said

You are saying all the things that my friends are saying. I broke up with him.

 

So I told her that often what we need to hear is the truth from a stranger who has no emotional stake or interest and doesn’t know the parties.

 

After all, all I can know is what I am told and informed about.

 

last years, I met a lesbian in the UK in a facebook group and she made me laugh and we became real friends. She even phones me sometimes.

Anyway, she was hung up on a woman in America who was by my pal’s own account a criminal and a serial abandoner across all of her relationships from lovers to her own children.

So really. people talk around the edges and resist the obvious conclusion that’s right in the centre.

So I am very happy to report that my pal has gotten over that high romantic champagne emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows and found a real relationship with someone she can put her hands on and get hands on her. Someone who shares a background and cultural context and values.

Which is what relationships come down to. Sharing the same values so you are in integrity within yourself and withing your relationships.

 

it makes me smile when I see the photos they post on facebook and to know that I played a part in creating the possibility for that happiness to occur.

 

These days I am feeling somewhere between Will Smith’s Hitch and the opening act of Hancock.

Getting back into integrity, reassuring my own values and judgement with confidence. Using my skills to do good. Its’ where our own inner sense of value comes from. Being harmonized with what we value.

 

Then, we are person and not just a yes-notch.

 

Sometimes no does mean try harder or try me later.

 

But sometimes, yes means. Okay so you stop pestering me or yes for self punishment

 

pity sex to boredom sex

 

emotional complexities play a part in our ability for impulse control, threat and risk assessment and decision making. or going in circles in indecision or flipping….

 

Robin Williams and his manic wind down patter petering.

 

Okay. This is totally tapped out.

 

There’s gold in them thar nuggest of gravel.