Decoding a Panic Attack

 

 

it’s a bit about assumptions.

So, for readers of this blog, I am an agoraphobic with PTSD – which means I fear being in public. Public spaces or around The Public. But especially any sort of security/police/military uniforms.

and Public Space, includes the back and front yards – since there are neighbours on each side and the back property line in Suburbia

In order to get myself literally out of the house for an exertion within tolerances, I went to Lee Valley for a push lawn mower – an 1800 centuries person powered by walking and holding onto handles a law mower with cutting blades as the only moving part.

They had three versions and I selected the deluxe one, but did not get the grass collector bag.

My plan is to do the yard every other day, so the clippings return to the soil, reducing evaporation at the ground level for better water and better soil.

Anyway, there was some assembly required and I was too daunted to even open the box.

I delayed phoning the store because I struggle to speak to people and have phone specific phobias – and I cannot communicate confidently unless I am face to face with the person.

Words are only 7% of communication, the rest being Facial and body language and tonal qualities, which require facial expressions to understand.

My Mom eventually called to find out their fee for building it, and they were surprised, being a Do It Yourselfer Type Merchant, and as it turned out, the assembly was very minimal.

An Accidental Panic Attack

I was not able to mow that first day of the machine building.

The next day, I didn’t even blog here – and I had gone out with my Mom for a short shopping three stop shop that I had meant to blog about.

Yesterday, I went out and actually mowed the back yard – the front is entirely garden.

We are also having a heat wave, so I wasn’t keen to be long on the laptop from which I blog.

But today is really the resolve of that panic attack, it takes a while for the brain alarm system to stand down, even for patently false alarms or minor matters

Further reading on my earlier Blog: It’s a Good Enough Thing /Living Well

Anatomy of a Panic Attack

Talking Yourself out of a Panic Attack

Living with social anxiety and panic disorder

 

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