Today was different than other days.
Today, I started my online with an email.
which generated a phone call, that my Mom answered and I took.
then a few more emails
I prepared a physical package
a Courier dispatch
my day at home felt like a working day
a moment of normal
in a world become surreal.
Then it started, the doubts and voices of the doubters
victim blame and victim shame
gaslight into darkness
I went onto the back porch
the courier arrived and my Dad handed over the package
I stood there breathing in the cold wet air
until there was a numbness equilibrium
mindful of toes and fingers
stillness and breathing indoors
in and out, shake it off
distract distract reduce and simmer
panic averted, I …breathed
anxiety managed, I … exhaled
in and out, repeat until automatic