Managing panic in your head is tricky.
You want to calm down, but you can’t.
Perspective Warps and What if, What If,
then it’s worse case to lubricious case
Reminding yourself of your span of control
Today, I went to New Westminster, where I grew up.
when I was 12, I was almost taken by the Beast of BC, Clifford Olsen.
I escaped him and repressed the memory of not wanting to believe that I had been that close to death – but there is a look a person who is looking at you and calculating how long you’d last in their rape torture ritual until they killed you and left your body somewhere – that actors can’t fake because so few people live to tell what that look looks like
and only genuine predators can make it
Anyway, he was caught a few weeks after my encounter and I had had only the conversation with him. He went to jail and he used the Faint Hope Clause to continue to torture those families and other surviving victims and other of us who escaped him. He died in prison. Good riddens.
Anyway, today I was in new westminster, where that happened – I am 48 now, 12 then.
I was at Royal Columbian Hospital, where I had my last panic attack and first major public panic attack and this time, the appointment went a lot better.
In fact, the outcome was wonderful – the MIR showed that the Fibroid Embolism was reduced by half in size dimensions, but 2/3 by volume. Better than I was hoping for and without any complications and absolute bare invasive.
So. today was a good day.
Traffic, with Patullo bridge work, a Petrochemical leak in Burnaby, Illegal tolling on the Port Mann and several car crashes, was another matter.
raw recovery specialist