Managing Fears and Phobias

 

My biggest fear is speaking to people.

 

I would be more comfortable doing a lecture in front of 500 people than talking to one stranger in a room with just the two of us.

 

I used to be phobic about spiders and it’s not like I would have one for a pet, but I have learned that spiders are of marginal concern compared to people.

 

in late 2011, my vocabulary was reduced to about 34 words that I was confident to say and knew would be understood.

 

Instead of adding words, I used the George Orwell doubleplus speak concept to modify the base word.

 

I also used diminishing language.

 

Instead of saying I was panicking and adding to the terror, I would tell people I was uncalm.

 

I see the problem now a bit  more clearly where further miscommunication compounded.

 

In spring 2012, I returned to facebook and began to expose myself – so to speak – online to random people.

 

It has been a struggle to sort through all the different Englishes and cultures that share this language.

 

to  understand not only the nuance but cultural context and the relationship context

 

flipping between archetypes of people and seeing them as individuals

 

something stirs in my mind

 

about trees and forests

 

heavy sigh….

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