My year in review, according to Facebook

March 16 2013

Agoraphobic Diary March 16, 2013

so the thing that I didn’t talk about yesterday ….

is the terror that I had to face by going to Richmond.

When I stopped being able to predict how people would behave towards me

I also lost my confidence in myself to do anything and especially driving

because if there’s one thing that you need to concentrate on in your day

it’s traffic

for people who don’t know the lower mainland of British Columbia

there’s a lot of bridges

and I had to travel on one that holds a particular terror for me.

1. because I do not like to be in the city of Richmond because it’s below sea level and basically a big sand bar in the river.

in my estimate, if an earthquake of 6.5 or greater is centred on the GVRD, Richmond will simply disappear. liquefaction. gone from existence.

2. I am afraid of the Annacis Island bridge – because it’s got such wide and many lanes – people drive like maniacs on it more than any other bridge that I have had to endure – and I have had to endure Patullo and Port Mann since 2003 and Lions Gate/Second Narrows for a lot of years before that.

not to mention that horrible Oak street… Granville and Burrard. Seriously…..

but there’s another reason why I experience fear of the Annacis bridge

a couple of years ago, there was a really horrific multi car accident

in which one man was … well, the fire was so intense he basically incinerated before .. hopefully before – his brain could register the pain.

there were several cars and the fire was so intense that they called out structureal engineers to assess the bridge before re-opening it.

now. I did not know the man who was killed.

but he was an employee of my cousin and a co-worker of my sister’s.

this is why the tone and style of the news and media is a problem

they sensationalize and if it bleeds, it leads

there is no thought to the humane aspect

now. this is in Canada – so

I once watched a live mid day news broadcast about an elderly woman who had been mugged

I don’t know how or why, but the news camera was on the scene LITERALLY before she was even picked up off the ground

the anchor said sincerely, “some people might object to this footage, but we’re bringing it to you live.”

and while they might have a right to do that

THEY DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO INTERFERE with anyone like that

because the camera crew was actually in the way of the ambulance crew

so I spent 30 minutes on the phone with the news program producer

and had to explain that saying “we know this is wrong but we are doing it anyway” does not make it right

and that is a true story

but the really funny part is that I was at work at the time of the broadcast and call

I was the manager of an adult video store.

so…

a porn peddler with more ethics than a television news producer……..

life is funny like that.

Update - 155 pounds, reversed diabetes, eliminated sleep apena and learned to control panic attacks Agoraphobic Diary stepped on the scale today and I have now lost 135 pounds by eating raw/vegetarian foods with a small portion of grain based foods the photo of my in the white shirt is my 44th birthday and the close up is a recent image

Update – 155 pounds, reversed diabetes, eliminated sleep apena and learned to control panic attacks
Agoraphobic Diary
stepped on the scale today and I have now lost 135 pounds by eating raw/vegetarian foods with a small portion of grain based foods
the photo of my in the white shirt is my 44th birthday
and the close up is a recent image

well. this one would be and I am now 210 pounds for an estimate 150 pound loss assuming I wasn’t more than 360, which I am pretty sure I was….

While women could vote, hold certain types of jobs and drive cars, they weren’t allowed to wear pants to work or school. There was no birth control pill, so women were reliant on men to use condoms – and we know how well that works out. Women didn’t have reproductive or financial control of their lives. Even more in their place was everyone who wasn’t white. The KKK had dwindled in numbers and influence, but under McCarthyism fanning of the hatred of Jews – they were back from the brink in whiter than white sheets – laundered by the womenfolk, naturally. So, the more things seem to change – equal rights for women, protection of minority rights, affirmative action programs, interracial marriages – the more they stay the same – because these same groups that opposed the advancement of women’s equality/rights and minority equality/rights are the ones today who oppose the equality/rights of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people. And, the folks who tend to be the ones opposing the advancement of rights because they cling to tradition (aka formalized nostalgia) are the very religious people. They tend to be mad that they lost the battle against women, against blacks and are fighting to halt gays rights as long as they can fund raise this losing battle. History and the tradition of democracy is not on their side. It’s okay to look back and enjoy the good parts of a decade – the fashion, the cultural products like movies, TV and music – if that’s what you’re looking back for. That perfect decade is more likely ahead of us than behind us. That’s the time that I long for, when there’s: enough food and equitable distribution for everyone still natural areas for wildlife and boundary areas where humans and wildlife can interact a reduction or elimination of today’s killer diseases like cancer, diabetes, heart and stroke diseases to what yesteryear’s killer diseases like polio, small pox and TB are now an effective UN We live in an exciting and challenging time. There’s a lot of economic opportunity in alternative energy, green products and information. We’ve come from an agricultural age to the industrial age to the current information age. It’s going to be exciting to see what age we’re entering next, but it’s going to need as many eyes forward to take us there.

While women could vote, hold certain types of jobs and drive cars, they weren’t allowed to wear pants to work or school. There was no birth control pill, so women were reliant on men to use condoms – and we know how well that works out. Women didn’t have reproductive or financial control of their lives.
Even more in their place was everyone who wasn’t white. The KKK had dwindled in numbers and influence, but under McCarthyism fanning of the hatred of Jews – they were back from the brink in whiter than white sheets – laundered by the womenfolk, naturally.
So, the more things seem to change – equal rights for women, protection of minority rights, affirmative action programs, interracial marriages – the more they stay the same – because these same groups that opposed the advancement of women’s equality/rights and minority equality/rights are the ones today who oppose the equality/rights of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people.
And, the folks who tend to be the ones opposing the advancement of rights because they cling to tradition (aka formalized nostalgia) are the very religious people.
They tend to be mad that they lost the battle against women, against blacks and are fighting to halt gays rights as long as they can fund raise this losing battle. History and the tradition of democracy is not on their side.
It’s okay to look back and enjoy the good parts of a decade – the fashion, the cultural products like movies, TV and music – if that’s what you’re looking back for.
That perfect decade is more likely ahead of us than behind us. That’s the time that I long for, when there’s:
enough food and equitable distribution for everyone
still natural areas for wildlife and boundary areas where humans and wildlife can interact
a reduction or elimination of today’s killer diseases like cancer, diabetes, heart and stroke diseases to what yesteryear’s killer diseases like polio, small pox and TB are now
an effective UN
We live in an exciting and challenging time. There’s a lot of economic opportunity in alternative energy, green products and information.
We’ve come from an agricultural age to the industrial age to the current information age. It’s going to be exciting to see what age we’re entering next, but it’s going to need as many eyes forward to take us there.

Nina 2013

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