Agoraphobic Diary – Panic Attack

fighting panic

Today when I was at the bank, I was talking to the Teller and he mentioned that his mother experiences depression and I said that it showed from his kindness and manner that he was understanding and I thanked him for sharing that with me.

After he’d let me rattle on to him.

I’d even asked the teller beside his wicket when he went to the back to deal with my matter if she ever considered that they may be the only point of social contact that a person has in the day.

She hadn’t and her sunny customer service attitude made me smile, because I got to see it strike her just how important that can be to a person’s day.

I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time.

But I am really pleased with myself that I was able to remain physically calm and not really have to raise my voice and that I was able to be clear and assertive.

you see, the problem was that on the phone, you can’t tell if someone is paying attention or if  they are just waiting for the sound of your voice to stop so that they know when it’s their turn to talk again.

I phoned a woman who I went to elementary school with and last saw in 2004.

She was a lot different than the last time I saw her and the phone call went sideways, as I struggled to turn the conversation to a positive upbeat and she hit several conversational triggers in a row.

When she wouldn’t listen to me, I had to tell her that I was hanging up and would call her tomorrow.

I was managing that very well, but she phoned me back and I had to interrupt her message and tell her that I was hanging up and I would call her tomorrow.

What is the most frustrating thing about this is that she is a former nurse and well aware of mental health issues.

People forget to apply what they know in a applied context

and need to stop explaining to me

what I already know

I am not a fucking idiot

I would just really like to have a conversation with someone

about what I want and need to talk about

then talk about what the other person wants to

not exchange tit for tat data points until I become disheartened and just talk about the other person’s subject…….

what I did to calm down – bonus extra

behind the scenes on facebook

inspiration porn and comedy

sunshine awards

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