Agoraphobic Diary Four

managing stimulation

two days in a row waking up in an okay to good mood range

last night was the first night that I went to bed looking forward to waking up in the morning

part of what I am doing is to manage the stimulation and start winding it down in the evening

less news and politics and even less science vs religion or religion vs people

in fact, I still have to limit my exposure to news – because news is depressing

the media motto of “if it bleeds it leads” is part of the problem in our society

we don’t get enough good news or neutral news or positive anything…

sometimes I relate to the kid character in Lord of the Flies

I dont’ remember the name, it was the kid who was defacto leader

I read that book in grade 10, and we watched the British 1960’s film version in school

it was around the time the American version, changing the kids from being school kids diverted and lost in wartime to an island to military cadets lost on a mission. completely missing the point of the book I might add

in any event, I mentioned in a post yesterday that my family moved again in grade 12

my grade 12 English class – now, I really liked this teacher – she was a Japanese Canadian – had been interred in a camp as a child in Canada during world war 2. She was a kind and gentle woman and what I remember most was that she was over 6 feet tall.

So it was the last day of classes before the Christmas break and she asked me how this class compared to my other high school

so I told her that it was like being back in grade 7 for me. we read short stories and answered comprehension questions – not analysis – and then had spelling tests.

as an exampled. I used my grade 10 midterm on Lord of the Flies

the question on the test was – what is the significance of the leader kid constantly brushing his hair from his eyes.

the teacher looked at me – There’s significance?

Yes I said. every time his eyes are blocked, he’s forgotten why they need to be rescued, and when he remembers, he clears his vision by removing the impediments

Oh… she said.

when I was in grade 10, a group of parents in Toronto tired to get Lord of the Flies banned from schools

because they went by the title and assumed the book was about men’s pants.

seriously. in canada………how I wish I was kidding on that one. but it’s true….



additional  9:30 am


good feeling rush over

now just an endless day to fill until I can go to sleep again….

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1 Response to Agoraphobic Diary Four

  1. dykewriter says:

    almost 10 am

    this morning, I remembered just how fun I am to be around

    because I am a really good person

    I was just in a bad sitation for too long and I forgot that


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